It's What I Must Do
by BriBugg94
Summary: There is two sides to every story... but if you avoid me because I'm a bad person you're probably better off.


I remember the day I did it, and I remember why I did it. Everybody thought I was so horrible, and that was good they needed to think I was horrible if they wanted to live. It had been a while, I really hated picking on them more than I wanted to admit it to myself but I knew it's what I needed to do. Crabbe and Goyle, they have been telling me I was being too soft, they even called me a muggle lover. I said it because I had to, because the last time I showed any compassion and love she was killed... Her family too. So I called her a mudblood, I was young but I knew what it meant I wasn't dumb. The ginger boy Ron, he wasn't really that bad I actually thought he was kind of funny but my father hated his father and I didn't want to give him any more reason so I hated him too, it upset him when I called her that and he tried to put a spell on me that ended up backfiring... everybody laughed so I did too, but I still felt bad. Gives me no excuse still, and when I saw the pain in those beautiful brown eyes I wished I was never born.

* * *

I was about 6, out with mother shopping, father was around somewhere I didn't keep much look for him he scared me. We've gone out to some store and I wandered off, but my mother didn't really care because I was a good child and she knew I wouldn't be hurt. We're in a bookstore my mother chatting with one of her friends when a family came in with an older boy and a girl little girl about my age. She smiled at me, came to talk to me told me her brother was magic and that she was magic to but her parents weren't. She was a very pretty girl, dark skin light brown eyes beautiful black hair in a long braid, her name was Emily ... Emily Rosen. We talked for a while, it wasn't very often that I got to talk with kids my age... And then my mother came up to me gave them a sneer grab me by my arm and said we don't talk with those kind of people and walked away. The look in Emily's eyes was sad and it made me sad. My mother told me that had my father seen me talking to those people he would have been livid, that I was too good to talk to those kind of people. Unfortunately my father walked up as she was scolding me and was told the entire story. About a week later my dad came up to me a smile on his face that chilled me to the bone, and he said to me

"Don't worry Draco I made sure that little girl will never talk to you again, her or her family."

And then he gave a low laugh, and I knew what he had done. After that I decided I never want to make real friends again. When I got in school my father told me exactly who I needed to hang out with and what house I needed to be in, so can you imagine the fear in my heart when the Hat was put on me and it first thought about putting it in Ravenclaw. Me, a Ravenclaw. Honestly I would have loved it, learning was so much fun for me I was always indoors reading because reading can't hurt anybody; but I knew that if I came home and I wasn't in Slytherin, my father would beat me and beat me and beat me... So I begged the Hat begged him and begged him and begged him, and finally though it felt like forever he quickly said Slytherin and I walked over to the table with relief filling my heart.

* * *

Being in school with Hermione was hard, I wanted to be nice and I wanted to be her friend because all of them seems like they were having such a great time but I wasn't allowed to. And then going home my father would punish me because even though I was doing my best she was just better and I was only second in all my classes. But that didn't change the fact that I thought she was amazing.

Second year was hard, my father had told me about the snake that was in the castle going after the muggleborns, and I knew I needed to help somehow without making it obvious. When Potter and I were forced to duel I threw a snake out towards him to hope he would put two and two together but then he spoke parsletounge and I knew I had only made things more difficult for him.

I was quite aware that Potter and Weasly were sitting in front of me that night instead if Crabbe and Goyle, even at their dumbest they were twice as intelligent. I let them know right away that I wasn't the one doing these attacks, but I didn't tell them anymore. I had realized that day that Potter was a hero and would probably get himself killed trying to make sure everyone else was okay. I spent the next day or two looking for information to give them about the baskilisk so they could tell the head master, and then how to give it to them without being obvious.

I decided in on a memory charm that seemed more advanced then what we had been learning, but I knew it would come as no difficulty to me.

So I waited until she was alone

She spent a lot of time in the library so I waited in there one day until everyone else had cleared out and I walked up to her with my hands in front of me to show that I meant no harm and then handed her the paper I had ripped from the book and told her that she was smart she would figure out what to do.

She read it and her eyes opened wide, then she gave me a puzzled look and uttered one word.

"Why.?"

I gave her a soft smile

" I'm sorry for everything I've done and said. I wish we could be friends. I wish it wasn't like this."

Her eyes softened and she opened her mouth to say something, but I didn't give her a chance. I put my wand up to her.

 _ **"Obliviate"**_ I whispered and then quickly tucked my wand back into my robe and turned to walk away.

 _I did regret everything I did and said. But I did it to keep them all safe. I do what I have to, I don't care what they think of me for it. I just want them all okay._


End file.
